


lead me where my trust is without borders

by adamnparrishs



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-06 08:19:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11596695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adamnparrishs/pseuds/adamnparrishs
Summary: When Ronan Lynch was 8 years old he realised that he was a boy who liked other boys the way others boys liked girls.(or the marriage fic that no one asked for)





	lead me where my trust is without borders

**Author's Note:**

> this is completely and utterly self indulgent 
> 
> hope you enjoy xoxo

When Ronan Lynch was 8 years old he came to the conclusion that he was a boy who liked other boys the way other boys liked girls. He was sat in class when the thought dawned on him. His friends at the time had sat around a table together, giggling and passing markers across the table to each other.

They spoke about how the girl with the curly black hair 'looked like a pretty fairy', how the girl with the sparkly shoes was 'very nice and lovely', and how the girl with the green eyes was 'a beautiful princess'. One by one, they took it in turns to tell the others who were their favourite girl in the class. A boy with long ginger hair turned to Ronan.

"Who do you think is the prettiest, Ronan?" The ginger boy asked, and Ronan's first thought was: _you_.

Ronan shrugged his shoulders and went back to drawing.

When he was 11 years old he found his father out in the field tending to the cows. His hair was stuck to his forehead with sweat and his clothes were covered in dirt, though he still looked peaceful. Ronan had always thought everything around Niall looked dreamlike.

"Dad," he had said once he had caught up to him. He'd put his palm against the side of cow nearest to him. "Can I talk to you about something?"

Niall had turned to his son and ruffled his hair. "Of course, kiddo. You can talk to me about anything."

Ronan played with the bracelet that Matthew had made him. "What would you do if you liked a boy the way you like mom?"

"I'd do what I do now," Niall said, without hesitation. "Love them with all my heart."

By the time he was 16 years old he found his father beaten to death on the driveway of their family home, the gut wrenching thought of "if I had been a few hours earlier maybe I could've saved him." played in the back of his mind. It was that exact day in which Ronan decided to bury his feelings with snarls and violence. In which he drank himself half to death nearly every night with hopes that it would erase that day from his memory. It never did.

But, when Ronan Lynch was 17 years old he met a boy. A boy by the name of Adam Parrish with blue eyes and dusty hair and freckles that mimicked paint in the way that it had been flicked at a blank canvas and all Ronan could think was how _beautiful_ this boy was. His elegant hands and sculpted cheekbones appeared in his dreams so often that Ronan was afraid he might bring back a copy. He never did, though he did bring back a tie that oddly replicated Adam's.

He stole glances from across the room and left simple, but oddly specific gifts for Adam, knowing full well that he was wasting his time and that he needed to stop falling in love with this boy before he got hurt. Ronan knew that was impossible though. But then Adam started returning his glances, started looking at Ronan in a way that was different to everyone else. He stood closer to Ronan than before, was more willing for Ronan to stay at St Agnes than before, spent more time alone with Ronan than before. So when Ronan Lynch turned 18 years old he kissed Adam Parrish with everything he had, the thick walls he had built cracking bit by bit. He had felt infinite.

At 20 years old, Ronan Lynch broke up with Adam Parrish. Ronan put his fist through a stable door and drove so far and so fast that when his car finally ran out of gas he felt numb. He slept in his car on the side of the road that night then went back to The Barns and locked himself inside, ignoring all phone calls and all knocks on the door. A few months later, Adam came from college to visit and by then he and Ronan had reverted back to "Parrish" and "Lynch". No one said a word.

When Ronan Lynch was 22 years old, he opened the door to a puffy eyed Adam whose hair was longer and arms were thicker. The BMW was parked outside with no evident damage and Adam, despite his tear stained cheeks, seemed fine. Still, Ronan wordlessly opened the door for him.

On the 18th night that he had been there Adam asked, "Why did you do it?"

Ronan stirred his coffee slowly before answering. "I didn't want to hold you back."

"That's not an answer." Adam bit his tongue, telling himself that he would not get angry, that he would stay calm.

"It is a fucking answer."

"No, it's not."

"What do you want me to fucking say?"

"Why you did it."

"I told you why."

"Ronan- "

"You fucking hate Henrietta," Ronan clenched his fists, looking Adam in the eye. "I didn't want you to have to come back to a place that's filled with bad memories for you because of me. Why would you do that?"

Adam blinked fast to rid himself of the tears building in his eyes. "Because I loved you, asshole. I still love you."

"You're just saying that." Ronan scoffed, turning his attention back to his coffee.

"Ronan," Adam said, and Ronan looked at him. "You're right, I hate Henrietta and I don't want to come back here, but that doesn't mean that I don't want you. That doesn't mean I wasn't looking at apartments or houses that we could buy and move in to together. I have never loved anyone as much as I loved you, you dick."

"You don't mean that."

"For fuck's sake Ronan. Listen to me," Adam ran his hand through his hair frustratedly. "I want to be with you and Opal. I want to buy an apartment or a house and live with you. You know why? I love you, that's why. I never stopped loving you."

Ronan blinked once, twice, three times before grabbing Adam by the collar of his shirt and pulling him in for a kiss that they both had longed for for 2 whole years.

Breathless, Ronan pulled away. "Want to start over?"

Adam smiled shyly. "I'd like that."

When Ronan was 23 he and Adam moved in with each other in an apartment located in Cambridge, Massachusetts, close to Harvard University for Adam. When Ronan was 25 he dreamt adoption papers for Opal with both his and Adam's names on them. And when he was 27, Ronan Lynch threw a ring at Adam's face and asked him to marry him.

Adam said yes, of course.

•

"Are you ready?" Gansey's voice came from behind and Ronan turned to face him. "You look a bit nervous."

"A bit? I'm fucking bricking it," Ronan ran his hands through his hair. Adam insisted that he grow it out for the wedding. "Fuck shit. What if he changes his fucking mind? What if he doesn't show up? Fucking hell."

"Ronan," Gansey smiled a genuine smile. "Number one, stop swearing, this is a church. Number two, this is Adam Parrish we're talking about. He won't change his mind. Number three, he's definitely going to show up considering I just spoke to him ten minutes ago."

Ronan looked at himself in the mirror and groaned, nervously pulling his tie loose to allow more space for breathing. He straightened his suit jacket, brushed his trousers down, combed his hair, straightened his jacket again, ate a mint, combed his hair and straightened his jacket. Again.

Gansey looked at his watch, then grabbed Ronan by the wrist. "You look dashing. Now, hurry up otherwise Adam's going to start thinking you didn't show up."

The walk to the aisle was the most excruciatingly painful walk Ronan had ever made in his entire life, and he trekked Cabeswater for hours on hours on hours. The hall was buzzing with chatter, though Ronan knew from the invitations Adam set out that there were only about fifteen people.

He turned to Gansey. "There better not be that ugly ass wedding walk music playing when Adam walks down. Because if there is, I'll skin you alive and feed you to Chainsaw bit by bit."

"You act as if I don't know you at all."

Cheers erupted as Blue and Adam rounded the corner, electrifying the room like a lightning bolt. Adam found Ronan's face in less than a second and jogged more so than walked up the aisle to be with him.

When he reached him Adam put his hand up to Ronan's face, wiping at his face.

"You're crying," he said, combing a hand through Ronan's hair.

"So are you, loser."

"Shut up."

The priest clears his throat and begins his speech, his voice a quiet echo in Ronan's head. His mind is Adam. Adam. Adam. They repeat the necessary words and nod at the necessary times and grin and grin and grin because _this is actually happening_.

"Still don't know why we thought an old school wedding would be a good idea," Ronan whispered, biting Adam's ear.

"To be fair," Adam said, his voice shaking. "We didn't. This was all Blue and Gansey."

"Huh. Remind me again why we let them plan everything?"

Adam stifled a laugh against Ronan's shoulder.

The priest's voice cut through their conversation. "Do you, Ronan Niall Lynch, take Adam Parrish as your lawfully wedded husband?"

Ronan blushed a deep red before muttering ever so quietly. "I do."

"Do you, Adam Parrish, take Ronan Niall Lynch as your lawfully wedded husband?"

Adam smiled, taking Ronan's hands in his and giving them a tight squeeze. "I do."

The priest clapped his hands together. "I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may now kiss the groom."

Adam, without hesitation, grabbed Ronan by the tie and pulled him up against his own body, his lips quickly finding their place against Ronan's. Ronan felt warm and content and ecstatic and on fire and he wouldn't have it any other way.

The cries of the crowd were nothing but a murmur as Adam mumbled against Ronan's lips. "I love you."

"I love you too."

•

Blue had decided beforehand that the Barns would be a perfect place to hold the after party. So, there was music blasting, people dancing and alcohol being passed around like there was no tomorrow.

Three hours in Adam disappeared upstairs to the bathroom and when he didn't come back twenty minutes later, a slightly tipsy Ronan went stumbling up the stairs looking for him.

"Has anyone seen my husband?" There was no one around and Ronan knew this. He just wanted an excuse to use the word husband as often as he possibly could.

He pushed open the bathroom door to find Blue pushed up against the sink with Gansey's mouth pressed against hers. They darted away from each other as Ronan entered.

"Have you seen my husband? Adam? My husband Adam?" Ronan laughed to himself.

Blue, her cheeks currently resembling that of a tomato, pointed towards a door. "Last I saw he was in there."

Ronan ruffled her hair. "Thanks, maggot."

Ronan pushed the door to his childhood bedroom open and saw Adam sitting on the bed with a toy car in his hand. A wave of deja vu flooded over him. He smiled softly.

"Hey there, husband," Ronan said, sauntering over to the bed where Adam sat.

Adam laughed and pecked him on the nose. "Hello, husband."

"What's my husband doing up here?" Ronan trailed a finger up Adam's arm, feeling pleased with himself as goose bumps rose where his finger had been.

"Reminiscing," Adam said simply. He spun the shell on the car. "Can you believe that we had our first kiss here nine years ago?"

"You were my first fucking kiss. You already know that though. You were a good first kiss."

Adam smirked and raised an eyebrow. "Just good?"

"Meh, I'm pushing it a bit with good," Ronan said, biting his cheek to stop himself from smiling. "You were alright, I guess."

Adam shoved Ronan. "Fuck off."

Ronan took Adam's face in his hands and kissed him slowly, hands moving to link behind Adam's head. Adam moved himself on to Ronan's lap.

He pulled away slightly. "You were my first love, you know that?"

"What about Blue?" Ronan leaned back to look into Adam's eyes.

"Sure, I liked her. I didn't love her though. Not like I love you."

"Alright, you sappy fuck." Ronan kissed his forehead. "You were mine too, by the way."

Adam's eyes lit up. "Yeah?"

"Of course, you dick. Who else have I fucking loved?" Ronan flicked Adam's chin then poked his ear.

"You're an asshole."

"True. But I'm your asshole," Ronan pressed a kiss to Adam's neck. "your husband. Now you, me and Opal are one big fucking happy family."

Adam let out a loud laugh, turning to kiss Ronan properly. He was an inch away when the sound of hooves galloping up the stairs reached his ears and a lump on limbs threw themselves on top of the two boys.

Opal passed both Adam and Ronan a flower crown, then began chewing on her own as she positioned herself neatly between them. She looked pleased with herself. Ronan chuckled and played with her hair.

"Yeah," Adam said, his lips pressed to the top of Opal's head. "We are."

**Author's Note:**

> comments are so greatly appreciated


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